Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: Why It Matters (Especially in the Chaos of Motherhood)
Motherhood gets sold in extremes: blissed-out baby snuggles or total burnout. Either you’re glowing or you’re drowning. But the truth? Most of us live in the in-between—bone-tired, touched-out, holding a thousand pieces together while forgetting to even sip that coffee we reheated three times.
And in all of it, self-care can start to feel like a joke. Like, oh cool, another thing to add to the to-do list. Or a luxury only available to moms with full-time nannies and live-in masseuses.
But let’s be clear: real self-care isn’t about bubble baths or booking a week in Tulum. It’s about not abandoning yourself. It’s preservation, not pampering. It’s treating yourself like you actually matter—because you do.
Why Self-Care Matters (Especially When You're Hanging by a Thread)
Parenting is relentless. It's invisible labor, emotional whiplash, decision fatigue, and chronic under-sleeping. And yet, because it's "normal," the weight of it gets minimized. You're expected to just know, just cope, just keep going.
But your needs don't disappear just because you're a mom. Your nervous system, your joy, your identity, your rest—none of it is optional. And when you care for yourself, even in tiny, imperfect ways, you're modeling something powerful: emotional sustainability.
You're showing your child that moms are people, too.
Rethinking Self-Care (No Candles Required)
Real self-care isn't something you "earn" or squeeze into the margins. It's not a reward for being good or efficient or productive. It's a reclaiming.
It can be gritty. It can be quiet. It can look like:
Saying no to yet another damn obligation.
Drinking water before your coffee.
Breathing on purpose.
Letting the laundry stay unfolded because you're folding yourself back together.
Asking for help without making it a whole thing.
Feeling what you feel without rushing to be okay.
These are not small things. These are radical.
How to Start When You're Already Maxed Out
Start where you are. No glow-up required.
Check in: What do I need right now? Like, really need?
Lower the bar: What can I let go of today?
Pair it up: Can I stretch while the bath runs? Breathe while the kettle boils?
Protect your energy: What's one gentle boundary I can set?
Let support in: You weren’t meant to carry this alone. Emotional support counts.
You Deserve to Be Cared For
Needing space doesn't make you ungrateful. Wanting rest doesn't mean you're weak. Feeling overwhelmed doesn't make you a bad mom. It makes you real.
You spend so much time pouring into others. But you are not just a vessel. You’re a whole damn person.
You matter here, too.
So this is your permission slip—to come as you are, to need what you need, and to stop apologizing for being human.
Are you feeling like you have to justify or talk yourself into making time for yourself? tell me about it!